Cool Patrol - NSP

  • Published: 18 October 2016
  • Buy the album here:

    Written by Ninja Sex Party (Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht)
    Performed by Ninja Sex Party and TWRP

    Jacksepticeye as The Kid
    Markiplier as Cool Patrol Leader
    Ryan Magee as Verified Cool Patrol Member
    Matt Wilson as Unverified Cool Patrol Member
    Jordan McQuiston, Diamond Walker, and Hunter Collins as Roller Dancers
    Zan Alda as Cow
    Barry Kramer as Camel
    Kaden Vu and Eric Radic as Bullies
    Lala Araki, Milloux, and Lindsey Jennings as Roller Ladies
    Jordan Irby, Jeffrey Minter, Viktoria Ershova, Jonathan Sapp, Christina Correa, Kassandra Corea, Pamela Horton, Vernon Shaw, Kyle Crosby, and Daniel Stonem Ali, Meredith Quail, and Amy as Roller Rink Patrons

    Director: Sean Barrett
    Editor: Sean Barrett
    Producer: Svetlana Dekic
    Production Supervisor: Sarah Williams
    Director of Photography: Gordon Yould
    Additional Post-Production: Matt Watson
    1st AC: Brooks Burgoon
    2nd AC: Jeffrey Ball
    Steadicam Operator: Bryant Swanstrom
    Gaffer: Seth Naugle
    Key Grip: Conrad Wrobel
    Media Manager: Andrew Fontanelle
    Makeup: Taja Davis
    Wardrobe: Lici Koch
    NSP Costumes: Kristen Carr
    Art Department: Kati Schwartz
    Production Assistants: Tasha Anderson, Rory Ross
    Manager: Brent Lilley


    Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!

    Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school
    The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool
    Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules
    Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more

    We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town
    We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around
    Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now
    We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First…

    You put your hands in the air
    And you jump off the ground
    And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
    And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now put your hands in your pockets
    And take them right back out
    Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
    Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
    This is the cool patrol dance


    Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
    You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class
    When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants

    You put your hands in the air
    And then stick out your rear end
    And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend
    And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now rub the peanut butter on you
    From your head to your feet
    And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
    Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Cool Break!

    *synth solo*

    You put your hands in the air
    And grab a bird from the sky
    And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
    Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
    This is the cool patrol dance

    You're basically a superhero now
    So throw some cars
    Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars
    Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
    This is the cool patrol dance!
  • Fun Fun

Comments • 37 707

  • Ophi 2
    Ophi 2  12 hours back

    This song is so good my neighbors threw a brick through my window to listen to it louder.

    • robomonkey42
      robomonkey42  19 hours back

      Eggman pissing on the moon: i sleep
      Jack and Dan pissing on mars: REAL S H I T?

      • Snuggle Muffins
        Snuggle Muffins  2 days back

        This was my first impression of Dan before I got into NSP and Game Grumps. I thought he was the coolest thing ever, and I still believe that to this day.


        • NerdBean
          NerdBean  2 days back

          My friend forced me to watch this

          • Katy Holmes
            Katy Holmes  2 days back

            Marks girlfriend 😂😍😍😍

            • Jayce Marshall
              Jayce Marshall  3 days back

              2:15 I like that one guy with curly hair in the background who is barley clapping

              • Kaitlyn Dodson
                Kaitlyn Dodson  3 days back

                i feel sorry for jacksepticeye

                • Piginblack123 Pig
                  Piginblack123 Pig  4 days back

                  Mark Was having WAY to much fun.😂😂😂

                  • JawbreakerThanos
                    JawbreakerThanos  4 days back

                    I bought a $100 of kfc I still can't fly

                    • Maor roaM
                      Maor roaM  4 days back

                      It's scary how it's so easy to die these days, just for example look at this point: 0:11-0:12
                      at 0:12 he was already dead...

                      • Jonathan Hernandez
                        Jonathan Hernandez  4 days back

                        What the fuck u mean frick did I just watch

                      • JustTigg
                        JustTigg  4 days back

                        Wanna be hardcore Mark is adorable lol The skaters are cool too

                        • Kanimates
                          Kanimates  4 days back

                          Seán watching them dancing in the gym with a crown is 100% mood

                          • Jessica Night
                            Jessica Night  4 days back


                            • Darion Fraser
                              Darion Fraser  4 days back

                              To this day i aspire to be as happy as Markiplier is in the video

                              • ROAD the POWER 9889
                                ROAD the POWER 9889  5 days back

                                I love supermega!

                                • Julia Whitman
                                  Julia Whitman  5 days back

                                  MAKE AN ANIMAL SOUND "moo."

                                  • CaptainsEyePatch
                                    CaptainsEyePatch  6 days back

                                    First I was like "Oh hey.. It's jack."

                                    Then I died when I noticed Mark.... His facial expressions are just to good in this.

                                    Also... Ninja Brian is Will Ferril...
                                    Prove me wrong...

                                    • Morgan Thomas
                                      Morgan Thomas  6 days back

                                      I feel like Mark is having the time of his life

                                      • Beepy Boop Bop
                                        Beepy Boop Bop  1 weeks back

                                        Wasn't until yesterday that I figured out that Dan is in his 40s

                                        • Lexi Channel
                                          Lexi Channel  1 weeks back

                                          i forgot how good this was 😂

                                          • Lapis Static
                                            Lapis Static  1 weeks back

                                            2:07 there aren't enough comments commenting on how these guys are break dancing in skates, Props to them for doing it flawlessly.

                                            • Red Ink
                                              Red Ink  1 weeks back

                                              Mark has a really nice ass 🤣❤️

                                              • Yeet Mcmeme
                                                Yeet Mcmeme  1 weeks back

                                                Is no one going to acknoledge how much taller Dan is then mark

                                                • Nick G.
                                                  Nick G.  1 weeks back

                                                  Pure genius, thats what this is.

                                                  • happy panda
                                                    happy panda  1 weeks back

                                                    Have I took ecstasy

                                                    • Beepy Boop Bop
                                                      Beepy Boop Bop  1 weeks back

                                                      It's time to get physical! Physical!

                                                      • Beepy Boop Bop
                                                        Beepy Boop Bop  1 weeks back

                                                        This strangely awesome. I love this. Time to watch some Ninja Sex Parties 😩

                                                        • Geno Sans
                                                          Geno Sans  1 weeks back

                                                          Marks just there enjoying himself

                                                          • Catalina
                                                            Catalina  1 weeks back

                                                            when you notice at 2:35 the rainbow is upside down so you then notice that that is where jack got the double rainbow gtibk from

                                                            • Nick Shermer
                                                              Nick Shermer  1 weeks back

                                                              Is that Matt Watson and Ryan McGee from SuperMega?

                                                              • Fun Facts With Prax
                                                                Fun Facts With Prax  2 weeks back

                                                                The choreography in the cool break portion of the song is absolutely hypnotic.

                                                                • The Kings2758
                                                                  The Kings2758  2 weeks back

                                                                  *When will pewdiepie be in a NSP video...*

                                                                  • Justin Brooks
                                                                    Justin Brooks  2 weeks back

                                                                    I love how much fun markiplier is having doing the cool patrol dance!🤣🤣

                                                                    • Zarhe Wolf
                                                                      Zarhe Wolf  2 weeks back

                                                                      Mark looks like he almost lost his shit at the end there XD

                                                                      • Lxcid_Dreamer
                                                                        Lxcid_Dreamer  2 weeks back

                                                                        I recognized more people here than in YouTube Rewind

                                                                        • Kj Collins
                                                                          Kj Collins  2 weeks back

                                                                          Jack mark

                                                                          • Eva Hammoud
                                                                            Eva Hammoud  2 weeks back

                                                                            This is the best fucking thing i have ever seen

                                                                            • Rugged Lemmings
                                                                              Rugged Lemmings  2 weeks back

                                                                              To be fair: those roller skate dancers are *actually* pretty god damn cool. :3

                                                                              • Tyler Platte
                                                                                Tyler Platte  2 weeks back

                                                                                I just love the "Moo" to much

                                                                                • Walnutgore :/
                                                                                  Walnutgore :/  2 weeks back

                                                                                  mark was meant for this

                                                                                  • SeniorSuiki
                                                                                    SeniorSuiki  2 weeks back

                                                                                    This is what Japan looks at when they wanna see some whacky American vids

                                                                                    • Doughnut Test Me
                                                                                      Doughnut Test Me  2 weeks back


                                                                                      • kinglui the3rd
                                                                                        kinglui the3rd  2 weeks back

                                                                                        Dan thrusting his head, “This is cool!”😂

                                                                                        • emojo1990
                                                                                          emojo1990  2 weeks back

                                                                                          Mark is just chewing the scenery

                                                                                          • Little_pottato Bear
                                                                                            Little_pottato Bear  2 weeks back

                                                                                            What is happening and why is jack and mark there

                                                                                            • Elé prt
                                                                                              Elé prt  2 weeks back

                                                                                              I want one of those outfits

                                                                                              • Lemon Bear
                                                                                                Lemon Bear  2 weeks back

                                                                                                I came for Jack. I was not disappointed.