I only ate potatoes for two weeks
- Published: 11 June 2017
- What if you ate only potatoes for two weeks?
It was a wild ride! And I lost a stone (14 pounds)
What if you only ate potatoes for two weeks?
So we're actually going to Tesco right now, to get a bag of potatoes, what's the time?
It's 11 O'clock
Here we go
Desiree potatoes, King Edward potatoes, Baking sweet potatoes, white potatoes, Jacket potatoes, sweet potatoes, imperfect potatoes, Maris piper potatoes, baby potatoes, Rudolph potatoes, Jersey royals.
Let's just deal with these...
So here it is, the first potato. Copped, boiled and ready for tomorrow.
And because we all want to know, here's how much I weigh.
Exactly 14 stone
That's 14 stone with a little bit of beer in that belly.
It's currently the 16th of May 2017 and here it is.
I've never felt so nervous eating a potato before
So I've just got back from work and I'm feeling really rough, which is weird, I shouldn't cos I've bad days of eating before. this just feels like my body's screeming out for this like....
So I've got this baked potato going and I'm boiling tomorrow's potatoes
But by the end, I'm hoping to be some sort of like potato god, you know, like some guru
Get enlightened by potatoes.
I usually poop every morning at around 11 o'clock and I didn't go yesterday, it took until 12 o'clock today. That's 25 hours later! Jesus.
And I feel like that bit's only going to get worse
Let's talk about the Bristol stool scale.
A scale from 1 to 7 to show the different types of poops you can have.
Obviously, these don't endorse me
This is a number 1
Then this is a 3
And then you get up to 7
The 16th I might not have gone, but on the 17th my body complained
So, I don't think I'm going to eat many more boiled potatoes because they're just kind of wet and slimy. Like eating slugs all day. I'd rather just eat baked potatoes and pre-prepare them.
There's a reason for this.
That's Hayley, my partner of 8 years. I haven't told her yet, I'm 3 days in and she doesn't like my stupid ideas
2 weeks of only eating potatoes
You're kidding me?
I've done it for 2 days already
so does that mean you can eat McDonald's chips?
No, I can't have chips, I can only have either baked or boiled potatoes, I've got wait until I get home now
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Matt no, I don't like these fad diets they're ridiculous
It is a fad diet
It's stupid, no, that's really annoyed me
She was really annoyed until she realised that for two weeks she could eat great food and just watch me suffer
So the next few days went fine
And then I switched to sweet potatoes, everyone loves sweet potatoes, but if you bake them and eat them whole with their hard leathery skin and their weird, slimy insides.
You realise. They're disgusting
And then this happened
These things tore me apart
And the next 4 days was full of one and two's
I can't even smell them.
It's a potato, it shouldn't be hard.
I like these normally
Why is it so disgusting?
That was absolutely foul
I can't. I just literally can't
So after that, I changed back to normal potatoes and things became a dream
Things were just happening, things were so much clearer
I didn't worry about what I was eating next because I knew what it'd be, so I just started getting on with it
Yeah the food was boring, but I felt really good, all that until I reached it
Full potato enlightenment
I'm feeling just awful at the moment
I got this bowl full of potatoes, I'm just feeling really like...
I don't want to say faint, even know I was. I've just got to eat more of these, maybe I'm not eating enough. I dunno.
They're doing what they're supposed to be doing, filling my stomach and making me not feel hungry, but because of that, I can tell I'm just not eating enough anymore.
My stomach has shrunk so much
I'm not feeling very hungry. Feeling very hungry? God I can't speak
That's a lot of weight
Things were pretty bad
I couldn't function properly anymore and me and Hayley were arguing
So over my last potato, let's talk about what I've learnt
Honestly, the hardest thing wasn't really the cravings, which were pretty bad at first
It was just really boring
And that's coming from someone who obviously is living in Britain and has everything in the world around me
It made me grateful for the small foods that I didn't really like, which I've just taken for granted
Because right now, I'd kill for them
I just never realised the gravity of the luxury
I started feeling really lethargic and I just couldn't work as well
This is my last potato
How big is that shot glass?
Thank god that's over
This feels like a big thing, even know it isn't
I'm just about to eat some cheese
Oh my god