Lab Results - Cyanide & Happiness Shorts

  • Published: 04 May 2017
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    Well, Mr. Watson, we have your lab results back. And, well...

    Cyanide and Happiness delivers daily comics to your face-hole on since 2005!

    Created By: Rob DenBleyker, Kris Wilson, Dave McElfatrick
    Featuring Kevin Murphy
    Directed By: Rob DenBleyker, Joel Watson
    Screenplay By: Rob DenBleyker, Dave McElfatrick
    Story By: Rob DenBleyker, Dave McElfatrick, Kris Wilson, Joel Watson, Michael Rousselet, Heather DenBleyker
    Voice Actors:
    Kevin Murphy - Doctor
    Animation Director: Bill Jones
    Animation: Bill Jones
    Character Design: Jerald Lewis
    Background Art: Shawn Coss
    Animatic: Chelsea Kubesh
    Editor: Thaddeus Grant Fenton
    Assistant Editor: Taylor Ransom
    Sound FX: Ben Governale
    Assistant Sound Design: Samm Barrett
    Music Arranged By: Steve Lehmann
    Supervising Producer: Derek Miller, Greg Slagel
    Produced By: Adam Nusrallah
    Production Managers: Lowbrow Studios - Mike Parker
    Production Assistants: Lorraine Bett, Autumn Netherton

    Well, Mr. Watson, we have your
    lab results back. And, well...

    You’ve got...
    Norovirus, hepatitis, tendinitis,
    And salmonella, sickle cell,
    a rash we don’t know what it is,
    And toxoplasma, super asthma,
    better go call Make-A-Wish.
    You haven’t got much longer and I
    haven’t finished half my list!

    Your brain’s arthritic, blood’s
    acidic, dick hole trickles pickle juice,
    Your pancreas is gangrenous, my God
    please never reproduce!
    You’re seizure prone and every bone
    inside your body’s cancerous.
    Your joints go backwards, and I
    lack words to explain how bad this is!

    Except for these words!

    Your taint’s inflamed, your anus
    sprained, your every vein is
    clogged with plaque,
    Your spine’s a wreck, your throat’s
    infected from your neck down to
    your crack!
    And all your poop is filled with lupus,
    All your shit is out of whack!

    Your heart’s diseased and full of
    bees a single breeze could end your
    Life and also measles, weevils,
    fecal beetles, fetal alcoholic
    syndrome, chronic symptoms common
    to medieval people,

    Your nose is blown, your back is
    thrown, your cells have unknown chromosomes,
    And kidney stones and loads of
    Crohns and toenail cheese and pubic
    fleas and leaky knees, and
    athlete’s feet, and trucker’s butt,
    one twisted nut, your liver sucks,
    with any luck you’ll kick the
    bucket soon enooooough,

    Also you’re deaf.
  • Fun Fun

Comments • 10 595

  • Noaolgy !
    Noaolgy !  5 hours back


    • Barry Bend
      Barry Bend  9 hours back

      Its always fun to listen to Gilbert and Sullivan style music.........

      Unless your this guy's doctor.

      • Bruce Brown
        Bruce Brown  2 days back


        • Profesor Krugłow
          Profesor Krugłow  2 days back


          • can we get 1000 subs with 1 vid

            I wish this was my doctor

            • StainderFin
              StainderFin  2 days back

              Also you deaf... why that guy still enjoy that songgg...yeah i know Fuck the logic..........

              • Luka R
                Luka R  3 days back

                Im suprised how he even came to the hospital with all of those diseses.

                • MunchJrGames
                  MunchJrGames  6 days back

                  A single breeze could kill him? But that doctor is like the wind baby! He should've died on the spot.

                  • Ryan Smith
                    Ryan Smith  6 days back

                    God bless Kevin Murphy.

                    • Aulture
                      Aulture  6 days back

                      What's this style of song called?

                      • Zap Rowsdower
                        Zap Rowsdower  6 days back

                        Kevin Murphy = National Treasure

                        • Adrián Sáenz
                          Adrián Sáenz  7 days back

                          0:23 I would say: "your pancreas is gangrenous fortunately you cannot reproduce"

                          • The Official Trash Channel

                            Alright yes. This is how google diagnoses cold symptoms. Yes. He sings quickly. But nobody’s paying attention to how this is TOM FUCKING SERVO!

                            • ArDFaarK _
                              ArDFaarK _  1 weeks back

                              What all of us must be thinking about is how Mr.Watson is still alive throughout the song.

                              • Kshitish Sorte
                                Kshitish Sorte  1 weeks back

                                Nobody can rap faster than eminem
                                Doctor : Hold my lab report

                                • Gabriel Paige
                                  Gabriel Paige  1 weeks back

                                  People should try to watch this at faster!!! It makes the doctor sound funnier and quicker!!!

                                  • ratoim
                                    ratoim  1 weeks back

                                    Shades of Animaniacs!

                                    • Alex Standridge
                                      Alex Standridge  2 weeks back

                                      you forgot diabetes

                                      • Mr random stuff
                                        Mr random stuff  2 weeks back

                                        Doctor:your fine
                                        Mon:your fine
                                        Me:I'm fine

                                        • Mr random stuff
                                          Mr random stuff  2 weeks back

                                          Google when you have a cough

                                          • Paperworld SML
                                            Paperworld SML  3 weeks back

                                            I started laughing when he was sings I don't know why its just how he sounds

                                            • Fatalpatronus18
                                              Fatalpatronus18  3 weeks back

                                              Me: short
                                              Mom: you haven’t grown
                                              Doctor: it’s genes
                                              Google: Oompa Loompa cancer

                                              • peasant von peasant
                                                peasant von peasant  3 weeks back

                                                eminem: **raps fast**
                                                doctor: hold my clipboard

                                                • Lenny cam
                                                  Lenny cam  3 weeks back

                                                  I liked this wen ot first came out and i looked at my liked vids and i love it

                                                  • Tony S
                                                    Tony S  3 weeks back

                                                    Charles II's (The Bewitched) Lab Results :P

                                                    • Gucci Gang
                                                      Gucci Gang  3 weeks back

                                                      Is it bad that I memorized this

                                                      • Ben Shaffer
                                                        Ben Shaffer  3 weeks back

                                                        I was today years old when I realized this was a parody of modern major general

                                                        • BaseBallGamer360
                                                          BaseBallGamer360  3 weeks back

                                                          YouTube Hits right here boys Cyanide and Happiness better be on YouTube rewind

                                                          • MEL 007
                                                            MEL 007  3 weeks back

                                                            Can you make this a song on Spotify please

                                                            • Electroctgon
                                                              Electroctgon  4 weeks back

                                                              *Karen's kid has left the world.*

                                                              • christopher snedeker
                                                                christopher snedeker  4 weeks back

                                                                Vapes once:
                                                                The Government:

                                                                • General Exe
                                                                  General Exe  4 weeks back

                                                                  Achievement Unlocked! - How Did We Get Here - Have every effect applied at the same time

                                                                  • Horny Fruit Flies
                                                                    Horny Fruit Flies  4 weeks back

                                                                    It could be worse.

                                                                    He could be blind as well.

                                                                    • Yellowolfgaming101
                                                                      Yellowolfgaming101  4 weeks back

                                                                      I bet he died right after that

                                                                      • Valentin Franco
                                                                        Valentin Franco  4 weeks back

                                                                        I like how he pointed to an xray of a rib cage and said hepatitis.

                                                                        • Mazen Tharwat
                                                                          Mazen Tharwat  1 months back

                                                                          When you ask google for help

                                                                          • TwistedSlinki
                                                                            TwistedSlinki  1 months back

                                                                            Imagine going to the doctor and he tells u that

                                                                          • Crunchy Keks
                                                                            Crunchy Keks  1 months back

                                                                            0:26 You can never reproduce. But that's good. Then he is always a party-loving bachelor.

                                                                            • Stephen Quinn
                                                                              Stephen Quinn  1 months back

                                                                              I'm trying to memorize this song and I don't know why

                                                                            • Austin Tuschl
                                                                              Austin Tuschl  1 months back

                                                                              I will admit this is a very catchy song

                                                                              • Flagrant Television
                                                                                Flagrant Television  1 months back

                                                                                A great song but he’s gone Die Great job!!!

                                                                                • NO . 6
                                                                                  NO . 6  1 months back

                                                                                  also your *_DEAF..._*

                                                                                  • Kevin Forbes
                                                                                    Kevin Forbes  1 months back

                                                                                    hi Tom Servo

                                                                                    • Frikas Gamer
                                                                                      Frikas Gamer  1 months back

                                                                                      if you google each one of these you will be traumatized for life

                                                                                      • ıIlTech WanlIı
                                                                                        ıIlTech WanlIı  1 months back

                                                                                        How did this dude still alive and wait until the doctor finished the song?

                                                                                        • Breezy Otaku
                                                                                          Breezy Otaku  1 months back

                                                                                          Me: it’s just a cough

                                                                                          My mom: it’s just a cough

                                                                                          Doctor: it’s just cough

                                                                                          Google: 0:06

                                                                                          • Midas Silvius
                                                                                            Midas Silvius  4 weeks back

                                                                                            i’ve seen comments like this a couple of times but it’s still pretty fun

                                                                                          • king b 47
                                                                                            king b 47  1 months back


                                                                                        • That One Odd Brit
                                                                                          That One Odd Brit  1 months back

                                                                                          Put it on x2 for rap god


                                                                                          • Sr. SlugSalad
                                                                                            Sr. SlugSalad  1 months back

                                                                                            When an anti vax kid goes for a check up